Dear Kara,

I just got back to Long Beach from SD.  You're memorial at the site makes me cry, but seeing all the people there to remember you makes me so happy.  You should see us all crying like little "b words" it would make you laugh.  I kept texting you while I sat on the sidewalk because it makes me feel closer to you.  I wasn't expecting you to get back to me in my freakin' dreams.  It was the coolest and creepiest dream ever Kara, you pretty much haunted me in my sleep last night, but I was laughing at the same time!  It made me feel crazy, but happy all in one.  I prayed that you would answer my texts and you answered in the craziest way.  I have this picture of you on my phone's wallpaper, the one I took of you when you took me to Sea World for beer school.  Anyway, it's on my home screen and I guess I kept waking up to see if you texted back last night.  Then sometime in the middle of the night in my dream your picture started moving and it was like you were video chatting with me through my phone! Who needs iChat anymore?!  I'm not gonna lie I was freakin' scared, but it was so comforting that I got to "see" you and "speak" to you.  I know you have so many other people to visit and talk to, but let me tell you I don't mind you creeping me out in my sleep, just don't startle me please!

I still can't believe you're in heaven and not here on earth.  When I look at your pictures or read your recent text messages I feel like it's all a joke and you're just being a punk like always.  Marc, Eric, and I were talking before we left the memorial last night and we were saying how when we get to heaven you'll be waiting there to show off and show us all the cool things you know about being an angel.  We decided you'll probably have Hello Kitty decorated wings and that you'd probably just get them fluffed for our arrival.  Marc said you'd say, "what took you so long?"  He's right you probably would.  

I don't know if I'll ever believe that you're gone.  But writing to you makes me feel like you're in SD and I'm in LB and that's as far as the distance between us is.  Heaven sounds like it's a lot further than an hour and half drive, but if I could get a ride there I'd hang out with you on my days off.  I freakin' miss you Kara, so unbelievably much.  I know I always miss you when I'm at school, whether it's LB or SB, but I miss you more and more each day if that's even possible.  Too bad I never get tired of you.  Well I have to get ready for work, I'll be back in SD tomorrow afternoon for your viewing.  See you there!

Love you,

Chris